Hello Everyone! Welcome to my blog on My Lgbt Plus. It both excites me and scares me to have a blog on here because My Lgbt Plus is really my pride and joy – to the parents reading my “baby.” This idea came from an inspiration I had about 4 or 5 months ago with me wanting to do something positive for the community (You can read more about that on the About Page). Before we get to that, I’m sure you came here to learn a little bit more about me.
I’m 18, go to Fresno State and well basically strive to do anything my heart tells me to do. In the last 11 months I have learned more about myself that I have at any time in my life. Yes I may be 18 but I feel like I’ve lived through some great times in my life, and well gone through the darkest hours a few times as well. You see people automatically assume that being young means you not capable of doing anything worthwhile. I learned in the Central Valley it’s not easy to do something good and not get opposition from someone. Someone always has an opinion and someone will always try to bring you down. When people say that I am a good example of an “emerging leader,” it makes me smile but deep down I knew it was not easy.
I first got my beginning in “activism” in the LGBT community when I founded the Clovis North Gay Straight Alliance in late 2009. Being a President, of a club dedicated to building safe and accepting schools, until 2011 was one of the best things in my life and others saw that too. It was the outlet to helping someone else in the community and that’s exactly what I did. In two years, I met amazing people, helped someone stop themselves from committing suicide, and found out what success felt like – the one taste of success that I thought I always wanted. To be honest, I never really knew what I wanted; I just knew that I wanted to help other teens struggling with themselves. Life is already a hard battle and when you add yourself to the mix – it gets messy. From the Clovis North Gsa spurred interest in local organization such as the Reel Pride Gay & Lesbian Film Festival where I was taken under the wing to help with Student Outreach. Working from a Representative to a Coordinator to now a Director gave me courage that for once in my life someone believed in me that I CAN do something. When I went out on site visits I met youth that are so young, yes I know I am young!, but so courageous ready to go out into the world and make a difference.
A little while ago someone asked me where I got my drive from and really I can’t say that I really know. The heart makes you experience and feel things that are always hard to comprehend. Not a lot of people know of the struggles I went through and really only a couple close friends know. I feel that everyone has a story so I want to share a little of mine with you. How did I get my start? I was sad and hated the world. In 2010 I got stabbed in the back so hard by someone who I thought had my best interests in mind that left me in broken pieces and it happened again a month later by someone else. My coping mechanism is to bury myself in something else to take my mind off of the hurt and pain. I dug and dug so far down that today I still consider myself trying to climb back up for air. I shut myself off from the world and set myself on a “journey” to find other people who knew what I was feeling. You name it, I was 17, and when someone hurts you it feels like the end of the world. I found myself not wanting to live, hating going to school because I let myself get into a point where I was bullied and teased. I looked in the mirror for a whole year and didn’t know the reflection I saw – it was lifeless with no spirit. As happy as I was for helping other youth fight their battles I couldn’t bring myself to fight my own. While doing the great things people know me for, I was numb, emotionless and roaming in my own self pity. Through 2010 to the beginning of 2011 I burned myself out to where the things I enjoyed in life meant nothing to me. While I put up this image on the outside, the inside was trying to heal.
I know what it feels like to be a youth in todays century. Being as it may be easier than previous generations, being young is not a simple task. If you are/were bullied – I know how it feels. If you are/were thinking it all needs to end – I know how that feels too. I thought that I was the only one facing these struggles where the world comes burning down around me. I found out that isn’t true. We are not alone. There are people out in the community that will step up and be that friend you need – including me.
My Lgbt Plus was started for those exact reasons. You feel you have nowhere to go? Come here. I’m here for you and so are others going through the same situations that life brings up. If someone abuses that support, you let me know and I will get rid of that negativity in an instance. Let this be your safe zone. Let me or anyone else in to help you.
Thank you for taking the time to be a part of a movement – a proposition to create a better tomorrow. Youth are the activists into the next generation. I appreciate you being here with me on My Lgbt Plus. The reason why this website is called My Lgbt Plus is because whoever says it, it’s theirs — Your Lgbt Plus.